Criticizing your own tribe is how you win
Your enemies will not take your feedback, because they don't trust you, but your friends will listen to you
(1)
A stranger at a party criticizes your joke.
“Wow, what an asshole” you tell your friends.
“You were kind of punching down there…” they admit.
You feel bad. Maybe they’re right.
Your significant other tells you the same thing later in private.
You re-calibrate your behavior.
(2)
Google CEO says “ChatGPT sucks, for reasons X, Y, Z. Our product is better”
OpenAI employee says, “that’s not true. Our product is definitely better”
In their private internal Slack someone says, “they’re right about Z. Why haven’t we fixed that yet? Our users are also complaining about that”
They fix it.
How does Google CEO respond to this? “ChatGPT sucks” is still the company motto, they find new reasons to maintain that narrative.
But it doesn’t matter.
ChatGPT is a better product.
ChatGPT gets more users.
OpenAI wins.
(3)
Trump supporter shares an out of context video clip and says “Kamala Harris says we shouldn’t celebrate Christmas, she’s nuts!!”
Democrat says, “this is not true” Trump supporters do not believe them, they don’t trust them, “every time your candidate is caught doing something bad, you say it’s not true!”
Another Trump supporter comes in and says, “I hate Kamala Harris, but not for this reason. There’s a million true reasons why she would be a bad president, this one just isn’t true”
Trump supporter listens.
He switches to spreading things about Kamala that are bad AND true.
Their message resonates with more people.
It becomes harder for democrats to downplay it, because it’s more true.
Trump wins.
It’s obvious to me that criticizing your own tribe is a winning strategy. I want my friends to do this, because it will help us win. I’m giving this away as “free advice” to my enemies too, because even if they win, it still creates a world that’s better for me.
Like, I’d rather live in a world where the best product wins, than a world where I win because no one can compete against me. I know I’ll find other work & I can trust that I will succeed if I make the best product. I choose to create the world where I’m still better off even if I don’t win.
I think we should normalize intra-tribe criticism. It doesn’t matter if it spreads in the wider culture, as we talked about in “building culture tech”, this helps you and your people, even if no one else does it. It’s actually a GOOD thing if it doesn’t spread, it gives YOU an advantage.
Examples of intra-tribe criticism
I’ve been collecting examples of this as I find them. If you know of any, please send them to me, or start your own list! All of these have the general shape of:
“I am on your side, and agree with the general point you’re making, but what you’re saying is not right”
Hank Green often debunks right wing misinformation, but in “I Believed These Four Lies” he debunks liberal misinformation
Matt Walsh is right-wing, but here’s a tweet of him condeming right-wing rhetoric to arrest the liberals for protesting
If you’re arresting them for an illegal encampment or for making threats then say that. But arresting people for “antisemitism” is obviously a clear violation of the First Amendment. I can’t stand these protesters but you can’t arrest people simply for having “hateful” views.
Pro-israeli / zionist account criticizing another zionist for celebrating the destruction of Beirut
Why do our right-wing friends act like this? Beirut is a beautiful and multicultural city. Israel doesn’t want destroy it. We scrupulously avoid hitting Lebanese infrastructure and civilians. Why do we pretend to be more evil than we are? It plays into the hands of our enemies.
This one is not a real example, but
is publicly calling for republicans to criticize fellow republicans for their own benefit:
They have the right brand to say to Long Island Republicans “look, I know you’re annoyed by liberals calling you racist because you oppose housing deregulation — we don’t think you’re racist, but we do think you’re wrong on the merits.”
Twitter user defends Kamala’s out of context clip, even though he hates her
JihadalHaqq is anti-Israel but criticizes the pro-Palestinian movement
[…] If I could criticize pro-Palestinian movement on one thing, it is that they exceptionalize Israel's existence. What we are seeing Israel do is what almost every country on earth has done or is currently doing.
[…] there's no such thing as "real countries." The thing I would criticize pro-Palestinians the second most on is that they respond to Zionist ethnonationalism with Palestinian ethnonationalism. Israel is a "fake country" while Palestine is a "real one."
If now isnt the right time to talk about how Lebanese people are abandoning their domestic workers & not giving them their passports so they can evacuate, then when will be? If you worry that talking about this will cause division, then stop doing it so that we wont talk about it
Cases of intra-tribe criticism backfiring?
Criticizing your own people public can & does backfire (causes division, or is weaponized by your enemies). We should have a list of examples of it failing so we can understand when it is good & when it is not.
This science Youtuber is criticizing Sabine, he says her criticism of science is being used by anti-science people, and that’s bad
Sabine’s retort:
You are right that there will be more content about the problems with academia on my channel because I think it is a huge problem and someone needs to talk about it, exactly BECAUSE there are so many science deniers. You will disagree I expect, but I think that people like you -- who deny that academia has a problem -- are the ones causing the problem. We can't solve it unless we face it.
i just love what you're doing. i'm gonna sound like a broken record soon. i'm fine with that.
Interesting take! I agree that intra-tribal criticism can be incredibly effective for growth and trust-building within a group, especially when it’s constructive and aimed at genuine improvement. Groups that can critique themselves thoughtfully often avoid blind spots and prevent echo chambers from taking root. And I agree—constructive internal feedback can make a group stronger, sharper, and more credible.
But I wonder if this approach always works as smoothly as you suggest. There are times when internal criticism, even well-intentioned, can backfire. For one, public intra-group critique might weaken a group’s cohesion or cause divisions if not handled carefully. In some contexts, it risks eroding trust among allies, as members feel scrutinized or under pressure to conform to particular criticisms.
Moreover, while internal critique can build strength, it can also create vulnerabilities. Opponents might exploit visible internal disagreements to portray the group as fractured or lacking in unity, undermining its public credibility. This happens frequently in politics, where intra-party critique sometimes plays directly into the hands of opponents.
Lastly, not all intra-tribal critiques are created equal. Some criticisms might focus too much on surface issues or personal grievances, which could distract from more urgent priorities. It seems like there’s a fine line between productive critique and undermining, and figuring out where that line is might require a lot of nuance and care.
In short, I think intra-tribal criticism is one that should be used with intention and awareness of its potential downsides. What do you think? Are there cases where internal criticism might do more harm than good?